Be Still...

So it has been a while since my last post about patience. Well what I have learned the past two months is that learning patience is frustrating. I guess that is the point though. My life has also been extremely busy the past two months as well, which I think adds to my impatience. I have reached the half way point in the semester and work always keeps me busy. Between those two things I haven't really had a lot of time to set aside for God, which I really hate.

Even though I have been so busy, I still have things that are laying very heavy on my heart. Every time I pray about my worries in life I just seem to get more frustrated when God replies with "just be patient." AHHHHH!!! I get that I have to be patient, but I am not getting answers to my questions. That is the frustrating part of this lesson.

Patience is about learning to trust God when the answers don't come quickly. If only stating that made it easier, but it doesn't. Not getting the answers I seek is hard, but it also means that God isn't ready for me to have the answers yet. As I was reading Psalm 46 the other night, God pointed out a verse that I have read so many times. Verse 10 "Be still and know that I am God." Not only does God want me to have patience, but He also wants me to chill out and just focus on the fact that he is God.

So here I am, just trying to relax and focus on God's wonders. I'm going to take the time to stop what I am doing and focus on God. I'm going to turn off all of the distractions for a while and give that time to God. That is all He is asking from me right now, and I am going to give him that. When God gets the attention he so desires from me, He will show me the answers I am seeking...

The Patient Follower

Well I have spent the past five months learning how to trust in God. It has been a journey I have not always enjoyed but I'm at the point were I trust God with all of my being and I know He is in control. Learning to trust has been so amazing and I have grown so much in my walk with God, but the time has come for a new lesson...Patience.

I am such an impatient person. If you ask any of my friends they will tell you that I yell at stoplights when they take to long to change and when people drive too slow it kills me. When I'm hungry I will have the fastest thing I can make(or buy) because I don't feel like taking the time to make something healthy. This is not a very good trait that I possess, but I would like to fix it. The past few days my patience level has been pretty much non existent and it was in a moment of impatience that I realized what God was doing.

He has been telling me over and over again that His grace is enough for me, and I truly believe that it is. Yet because I know his grace is enough for me and he can fully sustain me, it is causing me to think that my journey is over. Gosh am I so wrong about that.

I am starting to realize that trust and patience go hand and hand. You can trust God all you want, but if you don't have enough patience to trust in what he says then you are going to make hasty decisions that may not end very well.

Abraham trusted God, but when God said he was going to be a father of nations, Abraham thought he had to take the situation into his own hands. If Abraham had just been a little more patient he would have prevented a lot of conflict that still occurs today. This is just an example from the Bible to back up my patience and trust theory (well I guess its not really a theory since it's true, but you see what I am saying).

I know that this next phase of my journey is not going to be easy at all, but when I make it through it I will be in such a better place. This lesson reminds me of something I heard in a sermon one time, "Sometimes we have to wait awhile for God to suddenly move." I know that if i just sit and wait in God, he is going to surprise with something amazing.

So for now I am going to be a patient follower of Christ, and listen for his voice to guide me and lead me down the path he has chosen for me.

The Great Love Story

I long to have a love story people will talk about for years to come. When people talk about it, they will always be envious of what I had. Now I am not talking about a love with another human being (even though I do hope for a great love story in that aspect). I am talking about a great love story with the Father.

Something that I have been learning lately is how complete we can be in God’s love. I have always sung the songs that talked about God being enough but they were never really true in my life till now. I was always looking for something more elsewhere and assuming that I had reached my contentment in God.

There are two things wrong with that mind set. One, you should only being looking for something more in God and not other things or people. There is always more when it comes to God. Two, I was so wrong in thinking I had reached contentment with God.

God’s love is so vast that we humans cannot even begin to scratch the surface of his love. I am discovering now how fully content I can be in loving God and God alone. I can truly say now that all of God is more than enough for me. Now I am not saying that I am content in where I am now and I’m just going to stay here. I believe that being content in God is realizing that he is all we need and then continuing to go after his heart in search for more.

My love story with God is going to be great because I am never going to stop chasing after his heart. I will be content every step of the way, and still ask for more. I want to be known as someone who is after God’s own heart, and I plan to be. I am made complete in him and I truly feel it. He is all I need in my life until he says otherwise.

The Mission/ Elevate

So this past week I got the opportunity to participate in our church's youth camp. I have been to camp before but this year was different. First of all I was not attending camp as a student but as a leader. Second, we spent the entire week doing community service projects during the day and services at night. The overall experience was unbelievable. God showed me so much and also challenged me.

Being a leader for the first time was not what I expected it to be. Now it was not a negative thing, but something far better then I could have imagined. I was pushed to step out of my comfort zone and be an example for my students. There were three students that I was in charge of all week, and the bond I made with each of them was God ordained. I know that God will continue to use me in their lives.

Even though I was there as a leader, God still meet with me and began to teach me another lesson. At the alter one night, Pastor Pat told the girls to ask God to dance with us. Now little did he know that I have constantly been asking God to send me someone that will dance with me, but God gave me something better...Himself. I heard God speak to me and what he said to me broke me, "I have been standing here waiting for you to let ME dance with you." I had to apologize to God for not letting him in. I was so concerned with finding something human to satisfy me that I forgot that God could satisfy me.

After this I felt such a refreshing spirit come over me. God's presence was so amazing and tangible that I did not want to move. I can't remember the last time I felt such peace, and that peace can only come from God. I have to remind myself that God is more than enough for me, and he has always been there waiting for me to let him in and to romance me.

Let God romance you and bring you closer to him...

Letting It All Go

I'm the kind of person that likes to have plan. I think I have a fear of sitting alone and missing out on something fun. This desire to always have a plan is something that makes me feel like I have control of my life. Now who doesn't like to be in control of the things going on in their life? I know I sure do, but throughout my journey I have had no control. It was killing me at first! I hate not having control over the situations in my life, especially the ones that hurt me. All I wanted was to be able to stop the pain, and get back to the plan that was in place before the pain started.

Because I had was still grasping to have control over my life, I wasn't really making any progress. I remember the moment I realized my control issue. I was laying in my bed talking to God when I said, "I just want to have control!" The next thing I heard was, "Just let me have the control." I immediately said okay. When you hear God's voice so clearly there is nothing else you can do but surrender. I realized in this moment that you have to wake up in the morning in complete surrender to God. If God is in control then you know the situation is going to be okay.

I think a good verse that backs up this lessons is Philippians 4:6-"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I have learned to rejoice in my sufferings, present my worries to God, and let him have the control. Now I didn't instantly become better, and I still had to constantly let go of the situation. Pain does not just disappear, but it does fade. (Thank God it fades!) The bad days came and went, but the good times began to grow.

God is in control of my life, and it feels good. I don't know what he has planned for my future, but I know it will be amazing! I don't worry about not having a plan because as long as I continue to keep my focus on God everything will work out for the best.

Before the Morning

For the first few weeks of my journey I felt like I was learning a lot, but there came a point where I began to feel alone. As someone was asking me how I was doing, I honestly had to tell them I felt like I was seeking out God, but I was not finding him. I was extremely frustrated. One night on my way home from work my mom told me to listen to a song that might help me. The song is called "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson and I am going to share it with you guys.

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?
Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

This first verse captured exactly how I was feeling. I was so hurt and kept asking God where he was. It is so easy to question God when things are hard and not going the way we had hoped, but we have to remember that there is something bigger going on that we can not always see at the moment. Now I know it doesn't seem like things are ever going to get better when all you feel is pain, but there is a better ending coming.

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

It is so scary to dare to believe that things are going to get better when all you see is darkness. Yet God promises us that the darkness is going to end. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning! (Psalm 30:5) You have to continue to press on through the fight because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Its the waiting that can be very difficult, but it is always worth it in the end.

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good for those who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

The second verse carries one of my favorite lines in the song. "Life is not a snapshot." If you took a picture of my life two months ago and compared it to today it would be completely different. Time changes everything. I know that I am not the most patient person in the world, but when it comes to God's plan you have to learn to be patient. Wait on him and he will show you the bigger picture.

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory

There is no truer statement then the one above. God's glory makes the pain of any hurt fade to just a memory. He has been working in my heart day by day to make the pain fade away, but he does not leave an empty space when he removes it. He fills the pain with his love, and there is nothing else in the world that I would want to fill that space in my heart.

As the chorus is repeated one last time there is a line that is sung that wasn't sung before. "It's just the hurt before the healing." What a powerful thought. Hurting is not something that people desire in their life, but when there is a hurt there is always a healing. God is going to heal all of the pain in your life, and make you whole.

I hope that this song helps you as much as it helped me...

Persevering Through the Pain

Something I have learned in life is that when God is telling you something he usually does it more than once. About a week into my journey God showed me Romans 5:3-4, "Not only so, but also rejoice in our sufferings because suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." This verse really hit home with because I was most definitely suffering and I needed to learn to rejoice in my suffering.

Now a few days later God showed me James 1:3-4, "because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." After reading this verse all I could think was, WOW. Okay God I think you are trying to teach me something, perseverance. It would have been so easy if I had just curled into a ball and just shut myself down, but God was telling me that I needed to persevere through my pain.

This two verses say carry so much weight behind them. If we learn to persevere through our sufferings then we begin to develop character and hope. We also begin to mature and not lack anything. It is not easy though to persevere through the sufferings. You don't know how long the suffering is going to last, and also you have no idea what is going to happen along the way. It is so scary to get up and press on through the pain, but God rewards us for our perseverance.

Hebrews 10:35-36, "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." As Christians we can walk in confidence through the hard times because when we obey God, he gives us what he promised us.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I have been walking in the will of God for the past two months, and I know God is going to reward me for my faithfulness. He has been testing my faith and trust in him, and it is a test that everyone must go through at some point. Do not give up! Persevere through the hard times because they will come to an end, and God will be there for you always!

This was lesson number two...